Sitting alone in a dark room. No light, no sound, nothing to
smell or feel. You open a window and see the fight over politics, the yelling,
the righteous indignation. You hear the words and feel the anger, hope and
futility of it all. People slanting the narrative so you believe what they are
saying, vying for power and perceived importance. You close that window and
open another one, feed the hungry is the plan of the day, and nations come
together to get food to those that have none, only for it to be taken away by
gangs and ugly people of power to use as leverage to get the hungry to do their
bidding. You close that window and open one that shows the Vatican. The hiding
of secrets and treasures, to maintain power over people seeking faith, reason
for wars and unkindness. All things controlled by bullies, it seems. People
wanting power and control over other people. How do you stop the bullies, by
being a bigger one? The paradox is humiliating.
Close the windows, welcome back the darkness, the quiet, the
ease of no emotions. No sadness, no fear, no joy, no happiness. Just numb. Is
that painless? Is it enough? Can you have joy without sadness, happiness
without fear? The paradox is
humiliating.
Look inside at all you are. Are you controlled by others? Or
do you do the controlling? Do you find yourself spending all your time not
letting others control or bully you, in turn giving you no time to grow and
thrive? Do you allow others to decide your fate, giving you more time to think
about things you wish for, knowing you can’t have them? Do you let the past control your future or do
you learn from it and let it go? Have you figured out how to control yourself?
Or did you let someone tell you how. The
paradox is humiliating.
Human beings are not simple creatures. Faith teaches us to
be humble, to love one another. Yet people that are in power behind the guise
of faith want you to help them buy a jet, feed the coffers, give to their
current cause. Standing alone helps no
one, but can be freeing. There is a Buddhist monk that can water ski on his
feet. He has mastered something so irrelevant to the naked eye, it helps no
one, yet these people are revered. Yogis
master the art of meditation, purely a selfish thing, yet people strive to find
the nirvana within. The paradox is humiliating.
I thought we were here to help each other. People in
horrible places want to join those in the perceived good places. But because of
gangs and other hateful people that got there first, they are unwanted. We are
too civilized to get rid of the hateful people, we put them in jails that are
full, we feed and house them away from the rest of the world. We don’t help,
because they just keep on coming, looking to overcome neighborhoods, cities,
states, countries. Wanting to spread their fear and control. But we don’t stop
them. The paradox is humiliating.
We battle ourselves with kinds of things I’ve been talking
about, every day. We make decisions that will change our world every time we
have a thought. We don’t know the answers and fear failure. The balance is so
hard to achieve. We listen to others, we weigh and measure, guess at outcomes,
if we are right well then, we are right. If we are wrong we learn something and
grow. The paradox is humilitating.
And finally we get older, we worked hard, saved money, and
finally can slow down a bit. While we are growing we find we either had time or
the money to do the things we wanted to do but seldom both. We worked so hard
to achieve this state, the knowledge, the time, a little extra cash we finally
have all the things to complete that goal. And because of that hard work, the body fails
us. The paradox is humiliating.
