Today is July 4th, Independence day. This means so many things to so many people. I think of the freedoms we have to choose our faith, our fate, our jobs, our lives, our knowledge. We get to choose. Thinking along these lines I think of the choices I made. Seems today is a day of reflection. As usual these never turn our terribly well.
We focus on the negative. We just can’t seem to help it. I think I have figure out why.
I look back at “mistakes” that I now call learning experiences. I have passed these experiences down when applicable. Not because I am kind or loving, but because there has to be some kind of meaning behind the lesson. Some were easy, some were not so easy. The harder they were the more likely I would share. After all, why would we be put through such things if there wasn’t a reason, any reason!
I look back at the differences that I now see in myself and throughout my life. Some people call them flaws, but we are all flawed and that word just seems a bit brutal. So to me they are differences. I was thinking today I didn’t keep track of my old friends, nor do they contact me. I have new friends, and they are wonderful people, but I lost touch with those I grew up with. I wonder how much of that is me, time and/or convenience. I wonder sometimes if I am too much, or not enough. Either way it is not my call. But I still wonder.
I thought about all the things I have learned the last 10 years. Off the wall things, interesting things, all things that can help myself and others. Reiki, aroma therapy, tarot, palm reading, I Ching, Critical Incidence Stress Management, Chaplaincy, things all over the board. Seems I want to help people. But do I want to because I am loving and kind? No. I want to because I feel it is my duty. I feel the human race is off the rails. I feel the varying moral code, the inability to keep things simple, the need we have to expand, explain, justify has lead us down a slippery slope. We are confused, we don’t know the rules anymore and this brings on insecurity. It has made us ugly towards each other. We can be happy in our world and have one person tell us we are missing out, or confused, or doing it wrong and it can bring doubt. We want to fit in after all. So we let others, movie stars, “professionals” tell us what we need to be complete. Because we are all “different” no one person knows what it takes to make us whole. But we listen to them anyway and get off our own track. Do you have any idea how simple it is to turn someone’s day around? One complement, one sentence of kind words. That is it! Do we do it for them? Not really. Do we do it for us? No. We do it for the collective, the humans on this planet that are fighting for understanding, to be seen. Yep, something as simple as just to be noticed.
I am not young anymore. I have noticed the older I get, the more invisible I become. I forget I am older. I act like I always have, and have become that creepy old lady that doesn’t know her place. I say inappropriate things, tell off color jokes. No one wants to hear the wisdom of the older people. After all, things are different now, it’s all changed, how could my knowledge be of any value? But people haven’t changed. We are still driven the same way, we still need the same things, and we still act out when depleted. They say the world has changed. I am here to tell you it hasn’t. There has always been in-crowds, cool kids, smart kids, lucky kids, struggling kids. These all turn into adults that either learn how to accept and overcome or they don’t.
The reason we focus on the negative is because that is what we need to overcome. We don’t need to put energy into the positive, it is fine just how it is. But the negative, that takes some work, some energy, some understanding. But when you learn the lesson, you feel yourself becoming more complete and most times vow never to make that mistake again. So we remember, we mull it over, we let it define our growth. But never should a “lesson” define who we are. We are a sum total of all our lessons, the good and the bad.
So what does this rambling mess have to do with Independence Day? Plenty. We have the right to make our choices, this is call Freedom. And we should humbly thank those that fought and died for us to be able to make our mistakes, enjoy our differences and revel in our joys. We take these things for granted, and today is a great reminder of how fortunate we truly are.
