Wild Empath Chronicles - Evening Walk

I wrote this at a time I felt very misunderstood and unhappy. I was afraid to take that first step to a freer more balanced life. Today I have friends standing in the same place, fear holding them to those things they know and dislike, instead of trying to find what makes you whole. I hope those friends see this, and know they aren't ever alone, and there is better for you, but you have to take that first step. 



She was bored, and decided to go for a walk. It had been raining for days, and the ground was warm enough that the added moisture had turned the valley into a foggy realm of mystery. She knew there were coyotes and other dangers in the night, but cared little. She was past the point of worrying about such things. Past the point of caring. Something in her told her she was safe, that nothing would come near her. Not knowing for sure why, and not caring about that either.

She heard the crunch of gravel under her shoes, the night was chilly, but in her t-shirt she was warm enough. Something internal was tending to her, she wasn’t cold, no, she was numb. Numb to the temperature, to the dangers, to her own mind. Every thing was coming to a head. Her life was changing, things were opening up, gifts revealed. The things that at one time were of utmost importance were fading to the background, the need to be the best in her sport, the need to please those that can’t be pleased. Need of self was changing as well.

She stayed on the road, and rounded a corner near a pond. The frogs and crickets were nearly deafening. She passed a small ranch and could make out the black cows laying down in the pasture, then past another were the owner still had the lights on in the barn. Onward she walked, her mind comfortably numb, with just small wisps of thoughts grabbing hold here and there. Thoughts of how things are supposed to be. How do you know? If you don’t know why we are here, how do you know what you are supposed to do?

All these changes and it felt like she was trying to climb out of a crevice. Looking for foot holds and hand holds that at times would look sturdy, but would crumble with her weigh or fall apart in her grasp. She was up to the task, and looked forward to it, but there where those that didn’t want her to climb out, the wanted her to stay in the mundane world at the bottom. But she saw the different light, the brighter colors and the blacker dark, all variations that offered a more balanced life for their differences. She saw, there was no turning back now. She worked against the wishes of those that would see her dragged back to the bottom.

As she looked up she saw her friends, those that understood and had started making the climb before her. And the would offer a hand, give her a boost until they found that there was something about her they judged as unworthy, and the hand would fall away, and she would be left alone again. After all, the one thing you can count on in the human race, is that people will let you down. Maybe not on purpose or knowing, but they will turn you away or hurt you. It’s a given. You just don’t know where or when, that is the mystery part of it all.

As she got further along on her journey and higher up she found a few very special people that didn’t judge so harshly. The hands were offered, and she felt a more sturdy bonding, and helping that at times she would be able to rise above and give them a hand in return. These people became those that shared more than the journey with her, they shared there love and kindness and at times their thoughts and energy. They were friends she never met in the flesh. People that lived all over the world, but were no farther that a thought or feeling away. What an amazing thing, to never be alone, to have support and love always. She thought of those that wanted to hold her down, that laughed at the prospect that such a thing could be real or even important. Never will they understand, or know.

To know these people the differences were many, the likeness’s few, but the sameness shared was bigger that could be imagined. As she climbed a new hand presented itself, it was strong and bold, as they all were, but they were different some how. And from these hands she was shown a different world of travel and new self discovery, then hands of gentle kindness and healing were presented, and another of practical wisdom, one of energy charging and sharing, and the newest one of acceptance.

To be accepted as who and what you are is a gift indeed. To know there is nothing that happens that these people wouldn’t understand, or be able to shed light on the mystery of the newest experience.

As the gravel crunched under her shoes she looked up and was almost home, she had walked in the dense fog, with nothing but the chirping crickets and the frogs for company until she walked up the drive. She felt so free and so light, until she neared the house and the light feeling turned to sludge. Her foot falls got heavy, her way of movement slower like she was walking through mud, and she neared the front door it was with a heavy sigh she grasped the latch and went inside.