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When we did our weed walk we started in the invasive garden. This garden has a mind of it's own. I've long given up trying to tame t...

Friday, May 11, 2018

Wild Empath Chronicles - Protection part 1




She woke from the dream again. She was only 8, a small child, but felt like something was wrong, like she had done something wrong. She couldn’t put thought to it, it was beyond her understanding, but it had a taste, a smell, a feeling that encompassed her whole being, but she didn’t have the knowledge to know what it meant.

She was hurt, somewhere that never hurt before. She didn’t know how it happened, but she remembered words, feelings, fear. It lingered, but there wasn’t even enough of it to ask what it all meant. The dream occurred now and then, as time went on it started to fade. The one thing she knew, it would not happen again. From this point on she handled all her problems on her own. She felt she was alone, that it was up to her to see herself safe.
******


She was lying under a large tree, looking at the clear blue sky through the canopy of large green leaves. She must have fallen asleep, but did feel someone near here. She slowly opened her eyes, and saw a man looking at her long tan legs, then his gaze traveled up her slight body to her face. He saw her as a tall woman, she was 5 foot 8 inches, a budding young woman, she was but 12 years old. Lean and tan, sleeping under a tree in the grass, near the stables were she kept her horse. The boys had been teasing her, trying to get her in the barn, to “play”. But that play didn’t feel right to her, it reminded her of something, but she couldn’t remember what. Now here she was watching this man look at her and that feeling, the taste, the smell, the dream came back.

When his gazed traveled to her face, he looked stricken. His face changed from one of intent to a look of sorrow, shame. She wanted him to help her, but she didn’t ask, she just knew he would. His smile was tentative, almost nervous. Hello, my name is Tony, he said. He asked how old she was and she told him. He offered his hand and helped her to sit up. He asked why she was out there alone, she told him of the boys. He looked angry, but asked her to show him her horse. She stood, he was surprised how tall she was, and how young her face looked. He strolled behind her never touching her, but near.

As she rounded the corner the oldest of the 3 boys that had been bothering her, rounded on her, and started to grab her hand. Tony grabbed his arm, but didn’t say a word; the boy was terrified of the look on the man’s face. She was pleased; she knew he would help her. She looked for the honor in the man, the strength to help her and he did. Tony came by the stables a couple days a week, to see that she was okay. He made small talk and she learned he was 19, and he thought she was older. He had a kind brotherly smile for her, but never harmed her, or anyone else for that matter. He would just look at the boys, and soon they stopped bothering her.

He asked why she spent so much time at the stables when the boys were so unkind to her. She told him that even though they were mean it was still better than being at home. Her parents fought a lot, and her dad had moved out. He had new girlfriends and her mom was drinking vodka until her mom got so sick she had to bring her a paper bag to throw up in. She took care of her two brothers after school, made dinner and did laundry, but anytime she got a chance she would ride her bicycle to her horse, and ride. Run down long dirt roads until the disappointment of her parents was far behind her. Until the responsibility of having to take care of her brothers was just a thought and she could dream the dreams a 12 year old girl should.

Tony was the first time she realized she could get help from strangers. She would send out the need, and the honorable one would heed the call. She never asked for help, she sent word for the right person to come to her aid. She learned there were many good people in this world that had good hearts and a need to help others. She sent the thought with her heart and mind, looked around, the one that would help her looked her way when she did this. It happened quite often, as she was not supervised as she grew and matured. She had no role models, no boundaries and often found herself in less than favorable situations. But for every bad person there was always at least one good one, if not more.

Looking back she saw how stupid she was. How foolish to party with wild abandon and not think anyone would try to hurt her. Looking back she was surprised she was still alive with all the chances she took. She called them her big brothers, some she knew, most she didn’t. Many men have the want or need to help those smaller or weaker than themselves. Many have good hearts and feel for those in trouble. She did seek only men as she wanted strength to help her, and assumed that men would be the best choice.

The last time she remembered using this gift was when her father died. She was no longer a child by any means. But she lived a different life and hadn’t the need for that kind of help in a very long time. His dying was an ugly affair, with hatred from his wife, the fear of losing the money the wife had married him to get. The wife said horrible things, did horrible things, and hated her for no real reason. There where never unkind words, just a threat, her father loved her. He wasn’t perfect, but the love was there all the same.

She went to the viewing alone. Her husband was willing to go, but she was used to doing things alone, and preferred it that way. She was prepared for the ugliness, but knew this had to be done. She walked into the small room in the chapel and saw the casket at the head of the room, her father was propped up so she could see his face, and she walked toward him. The hatred and malice was so thick in the room, it felt like she was walking through spider webs, and had to resist the act of brushing them off her arms. Her brothers were there, but made no move to console or help her. They had chosen to remain in the wife’s favor for the promise of part of the wealth.

She had been prepared for the unkindness and for the sorrow of her father’s passing, but to see her brothers, whom she loved controlled by the dangling of money, like a dog to a bone, the lack of self respect, was more sadness than she was prepared to handle. She was failing as she walked to the casket to take the last look of her father, to say good bye face to face.

She involuntarily sent out for a courageous soul to come to her aid. It had been a long time since she had done this and almost surprised it happened. She stood looking at her father, she touched his face to feel the coldness of his dead body, an affirmation he was truly gone. A hand covered hers, and a man she didn’t know was standing by her side. He asked if he could pray with her for a moment, and they held hands and said a short prayer of peace. He smiled, and asked if she was going to be alright. He then introduced himself as the wife’s brother, and gave her his phone number to call if she needed anyone to talk to. He said it was sad to see her there alone, and when she turned to leave the horrible look on the wife’s face was so plain to see. The brother squeezed her hand and smiled. She walked out of the chapel head up, thanking God for affirmation of her gift, and prayed he would take good care of her father.

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